I went into the night with only a vague determination that anywhere must be better than this place. There just has to be more out there for me. I don’t know what it is specifically, but there’s a place in the pit of my gut that tells me I have to go out into the world and find it. A place with more life. More love. More adventure. More happiness. Just… more.

 

I don’t know where I’m going or where I’ll end up, but I know that I am meant for more than this. I am meant for my own brand of greatness. Greatness is in the eye of the beholder. My greatness may be mediocrity to someone else or maybe even to everyone else, but I’ve decided that I don’t care anymore. For the first time in my life I am not afraid. I am not afraid to fail. I am not afraid to disappoint. I am not afraid to try.

 

I want to build a new life for myself. But make no mistake: I am not hiding from who I was. Who I was has led me to these crossroads here where I get to decide who I will become. I am proud of who I was. I am proud of my past no matter if you think it’s neat, messy, clean, dirty, right, wrong, or anything in between. My past is my fuel.

 

© 2015 Hazel Arroyo

Photo © 2015 Hazel Arroyo